I was meditating this morning. I, of course, entered the infinite quantum realm where all things are created, and all I could think of was that the rumor that goldfish have a 3-second memory is not true. So what is an animal with a 3-second memory? It's hamsters. (You probably already knew that)

So, if a hamster learned to ride a bike, would it forget how to ride a bike 3 seconds later? I thought you never forget how to ride a bike. The answer is obviously no. 

The real challenge is teaching a hamster to ride a bike in under 3 seconds. That bike will need to be more engaging than the giant wheel in its cage, which, like many things in our lives, requires no skill and has no barrier to entry. Oh, and if there are any hamsters around to have sex with, the bike will be as interesting as a book on top of a Nintendo. 

Plus, the bike would require the hamster to give you a very focused 2.5 seconds, which is a lot to ask of a hard-working modern hamster when it has the option to put in zero effort and start wheelin'. There's something to this hamster thing, though. Not like yesterday when, after my meditation, I picked up my journal and just wrote, "snake ass." 

It got me thinking, for like 4 seconds, which is a total focus-flex on hamsters. I'm on a wheel too. I won't speak for you, because, c'mon, let's all remember that we forget. 

I call it the Thanksgiving Day Wheel Theory. 

You show up to a Thanksgiving dinner. Someone says Happy Thanksgiving. Then someone has to mention, [usually the person at the dinner who is visiting from California or college, used to be me] reminds everyone that it’s a colonizer holiday that betrayed the Native Americans, and everyone sits through the speech thinking to themselves, “Yeah, I know.” 

So, is everyone just supposed to go home and not eat now? Or eat and not give thanks? Seriously, what’s the plan?

Then someone says, “Yeah, but we are just here to give thanks and share a meal with people we love.” So then, everyone looks at the food and now has to forget some atrocities so they can enjoy this meal together. 

What do you have to forget or tune out to be able to live with being on a wheel? Never forget, though, that you can just step off the damn thing, because in many ways you’re choosing to be on it. 

When I tune in to my inner hamster. I forget that I am not late to my life. I forget that my “been there done that” energy comes off judgy. I forget that my anger isn’t anger; it means I’m not on the right path for me. I also forget I can change course whenever I want. I forget about all the joy around me. 

I forget that I am by default very goofy and fantastical with my imagination. I forget I shouldn't write things about hamsters for high-ticket “marketing,” wtf! I forget how hard I can hit and how strong I really am. I forget that I am not practicing movement or mindset; I am practicing faith and trust in a process. 

Being on that wheel requires nothing from you other than mindless energy. The wheel just keeps going in one direction, faster and faster. Jump off and choose the bike, because when a hamster just stops on the wheel, although hilarious, physics will stick that hamster to the wheel, looping around and around, then... Plop... Right on its hamster back. Only to forget 3 seconds later and go right back to wheelin'.